Long Overdue Updates

Wow...haven't blogged in a while. Life here has been very, very interesting. Well, guess it's time for some of my usual bullet point updates.

1. Social: Still burgeoning. Essentially, I can choose to never be alone if I wanted to, as I pretty much can find some friends to hang out with every night, especially on weekends. But I've been trying to slow down a bit, get used to being alone again and not clubbing every freakin' weekend. Started last night, where I planned to have a quiet evening alone, possibly reading or meditating. Lasted 1 hour before I needed to invite Jed over! hahaha. Still, was a pretty chill Friday night, quite unusual for me. Also, not planning to party at all this weekend, though may have a Pinoy dinner tonight at my place with good friends :)

2. Spiritual: Hmmm...aside from the most boring mass ever every Sunday that lasts 1.5 hours, haven't really done much to improve this side of my life. Baaaad. I know I shouldn't be building my relationship wiht God only when I'm in distress...Will really try to discipline myself more in this aspect. Seriously need to start finding a group here, God knows where though.

3. Family: Folks were supposed to visit me this weekend but unfortunately, mom's not feeling well so they had to postpone. There was a bit of relief there, as I was so not ready for their official visit, but at the same time, I felt really bad that I couldn't see them. Have half a mind to run off to Manila soon...

4. Career: Ugh...still feel lost and confused. I can handle my boss pretty well, though his ultra analytical brain overwhelms me. Still can't read my Managing Director...it's like everything that I say to him is wrong or interpreted differently. Shit, he must be regretting getting me now. My subordinates are doing OK. Hopefully, they still like me despite my slowly revealing bitchiness. My agencies fear me...wah! Really have to do something about that.

5. Physical: Been able to gym quite regularly, especially since D left and I needed some way to cope. Will seriously bulk up now. Just have to manage the diet part, which is always the tough part for me. Need to eat a heavy breakfast, and eat every 3 hours--clean food only!!

6. Emotional: Well learning a lot about myself here...about how starved I am for affection, how rashly I can make decisions when I'm emotional, how much I can hurt and still survive. Only makes me stronger right?

Am seriously planning to go on a long trip far far away for my birthday. Any suggestions?

Jai guru deva om

I'm all set. Or rather, it has all been set for me. Funny thing about major life decisions...you shilly-shally for months but the moment you say "Yes!" the gods of indecisiveness just take the ball and run with it (probably to prevent you from changing your mind again). And there you stand, dazed and bewildered, not remembering what exactly you were agreeing to in the first place.

This whole thing started with a seemingly innocuous phone call over the Christmas holidays. I was in Tagaytay with my folks having lunch in Highlands' Winter Palace. While waiting for the dimsum to arrive, I gave Lynette a call to greet her on her birthday. As usual, we ended up chatting about work and our careers. She was very quickly moving up the company ladder despite not being sure where the ladder would end up. I, on the other hand, was getting a bit restless, and in desperate need of a major jolt. She told me to reconnect with GRC, especially since she was in Manila during that time. So when I was back at work last January, I dropped G's office to say hello. And that's when the ball started rolling and I'm still running after it up to now.

I will be leaving the Philippines for good in a month's time. I'm scared shitless. The longest I've ever been out of the country alone was 6 weeks in Taiwan when I was still in high school. And now, we're talking about 2 years. That's 98 more weeks than my personal record! It doesn't help that I don't know anyone there, that I will have to adjust to a completely different culture, and that I will be managing a business category that's completely alien to me.

BREATHE...

Choose the good, not the easy.

It's lonely at the top.

If you're stuck with lemons, go make a lemonade. (All from Lynette).

I have to admit though that it's also a very, very exciting time. I've never felt more alive! After all, how many chances in life do we get to wash ourselves clean, scour away all the grime and dirt accumulated through the years, and emerge fresh, pure, new?

Jai guru deva om
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world

Mood: reflective, sedate
Music: The Best of U2, 1980-1990